Eternal Return
After every turbulent episode in my life,
I shut down all my senses and retreat into silence,
not to escape, but to feel.
In that quiet,
I confront the storm within.
raging oceans of emotion,
memories that ache,
traumas that echo,
waves of self-doubt and destruction.
And in those moments,
The body feels like a prison.
because the real chaos is in the mind.
But still
You must ride those waves.
Not resist them,
because after the storm,
The ocean always returns to stillness.
And within that stillness,
The ocean remains deep.
Everyone deserves a chance, even me, the dull boy. I love the beach because it carries no human trace, no buildings, no cars, no emotions. I run barefoot on the burning sand while the shadows refuse to save me, and I keep running, burning, meaninglessly, sailing through fuzzy thoughts and embracing loneliness with open arms. I learned this movement early, changing cities since childhood, changing rooms and streets, and changing the names of places that never stayed long enough to become mine, until belonging became something I only watched from the outside. The fragments I gathered along the way made me drift into a quiet derealization, carrying a weightless nostalgia that never leaves my chest. I have always seen life cinematically, as if I were watching myself from far away, and somewhere inside me there is an undiscovered insula, distant from every emotional land, filled only with raw nostalgia. I stand with my toes in the sand again, but this time I am not left to the sun. I am the sun. I am the wind. I am still here.
